Relationships

This next topic that I am going to talk about is quite controversial and it may raise a few eyebrows, but i believe that its highly necessary to touch upon as this year it has been the hot topic of conversations....yes you guessed it Relationships (or maybe the clue was in the title duh!!!) lol

There must be something in the atmosphere because I'm telling you everyone seems to be going through struggles when it comes to relationships. I don't care if your heterosexual or homosexual we all know that relationships are not easy and it takes a lot of hard work and determination to really make a relationship work. Now i don't wanna by any means be biased and just focus on those who have got that certified relationship, by certified i mean those that are in relationships and it has been confirmed by both parties. Lets think about those of you that may be seeing someone but it hasn't yet been confirmed but you have been seeing them for a long time and it has in fact drifted into the regions of years but you still haven't had that confirmation. I'm going to use a term that i hate but I'm sure you will be familiar with it 'linking'. There i said it! You can bare the brunt of any of these types of relationships believe me.

I experienced good relationships and i have experienced bad ones..who hasn't, but nevertheless no breakup is ever easy and it always ends up leaving you feeling affected. I can not tell you how important it is to identify when you are in an unhealthy relationship and run for for your life to get out of it, please don't do what i did and stay in it for years or even if you do breakup keep going back, this is noway good for your self esteem,your sanity or your healing process!

I'm not going to sit here listing all the ways you can tell when your in a unhealthy relationship cause i believe we all have the intelligence to know. The reason why we don't do anything about it is because we're in denial. We are simply just lying to ourselves or we believe that we can be the ones to change that individual. What we need to realise is, if that person who is toxic wanted to change they would change! change starts from within and happens when you are ready and there is nothing that we can do to change a person, this is just wishful thinking. I feel that we all have the ability to tell when we are not happy in a relationship and if you are doing all you can to make the relationship flourish then why cant your partner also? Of course i am aware that personal issues may be afflicting your partner's mind which may mean that they are unable really make an effort in the relationship- but this is where communication should kick in. If you cant converse with your partner about anything then i suppose we shouldn't be with them. We should all take the initiative to really get to know our man/woman so we can tell when their acting out of character.

Now I'm gonna touch upon the issue of 'linking' or some may call it 'seeing' someone. Whenever i meet someone of course i am aware that we start of 'seeing' each other, but i always wonder how long is it going to take for the other party to initiate more (that's even if i think he's a worthy candidate himself). Let me tell you how easy it is to fall into the complacency of linking..well for the man anyway!!! us ladies usually always want to know where we stand so we can have that piece of mind. Let me tell you ladies (i apologies men, i don't want to seem biased in anyway) but if you don't bring the conversation up of "where do we stand"? the man usually wont do it. And then you find yourself seeing or linking this guy for a longer time than needed. I have gotten caught up before, just tying to be real and it is so frustrating, I'm not at all blaming these men, i blame myself for staying in something for so long before realising that it wasn't going anywhere!!!!!! This is a waste of my time and a waste of my life...not doing this again, well God willing i will never put myself in this situation because it just is not worth it. A man/woman that has respect for you wont expect you to just be a link in his life for so long he or she would want to commit to you if they are serious and if there is no commitment then their either not interested or their just afraid of the C word we call commitment!!!!!!

Please be encouraged my fellow blogee's because every situation does make you stronger and i know my experiences whether good or bad has shaped the person i am today so thank you to all my ex partners you will never be forgotten (partly because you scared my life...hahahaha just joking!!! you will be remembered because you have made me stronger) And for those of you that are going through a breakup or trying to disattach yourselves from that person who has become over familiar, please follow your instincts because life is too short for you to be living in misery and look at it this way it may take a while for those scars to heal but if you stay in something that does not make you happy then your wounds are only going to get deeper.

There's a book that i recommend in regards this topic is a book by Steve Harvey called 'Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady'. This is an excellent book that allows you to understand things from a mans perspective. Before i go i want to share with you my poem that i wrote. It was inspired by me following my passion, which is writing and me finally believing i am capable of fulfilling my dreams.

Just me


I am me and that is all I can be
Sometimes scared of the things that I see
Wanting to capture what life has to offer
Anxiously waiting cause I don’t want to suffer
Feelings of inadequacy, running through my head
Take them one by one and put them to bed
Letting go of all the pretense
living my life so I can be content
Thankful to God that now I can say
I am happy with me, wouldn't have it no other way!